Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Breaking up with Emma

April 2007

As much as we enjoyed Malaga together and thought that things were good again between us, it wasn’t long after the holiday that things began to get between me and Emma again. It’s a difficult thing to explain as we didn’t argue at all in the 4 years we’d been together but there just wasn’t that spark there any more. I told myself that was just what happens in relationships so tried to do the best I could to stick with it but it became apparent that my future belonged somewhere else. It was a very difficult situation as we had a lot of history together, we lived together in our own home and both our families were quite close but these shouldn’t be reasons to stay together. Again it was probably due to lack of money and other things but having spent the last few months thinking about it I spoke to Emma saying I didn’t think things were working between us any more and we broke up.

It was very difficult to take in but I knew I had made the right decision. I had spoke to a lot of people about it prior to going through with it including Andy and Stu over the past couple of months but could still not see myself going through with it. I never wanted to hurt Emma but I had to be selfish for the first time in my life. The next day we spoke more about it and even decided to give it another go but it just wasn’t the same and it didn’t last a week. We must just have drifted apart, we couldn’t talk to each other any more and I was finding more and more things to do to keep myself occupied and happy whilst we were together that it was inevitable that we weren’t going to last. It was a surprise that we had lasted so long as we were anyway.

I’d spent a lot of the past year or more not spending much time with her, we never did things like cook or clean up together and I never went to bed at the same time as her. Maybe if I had put more effort into the relationship when it first began to look like things weren’t going so well then we might have worked but we’ve both moved on now and I don’t think I’ve been happier than how I am at present.

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